One Day More

Well my final night with my host family is starting and honestly I don't quite know what I feel. Packing has been stressful to say the least. A 50 pound weight limit sucks majority. I'm also pretty stressed/nervous about going home. My hairs standing on end, my face is broken out and I look like I've been on every drug in the book. Today I got the opportunity  to fly in a hot air balloon. The town of Annonay is where the Montgolfière brothers invented the hot air  balloon and so as one final gift my family bought me a place. It is absolutely incredible. Floating over the hills and towns. A truly once in a lifetime experience that I will never forget. 

I'm going to miss life here. I have a lot of freedom and I am truly happy for the first time in a long time. I have no worries or cares about anything. I also will miss the family. Not only my immediate family but my extended family who excepted me as one of their own. I don't have the most "together" family in world so being here with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and great grandparents has been really cool. Going back home feels like it will be rather un fulfilling. I am excited to see everyone again but the fact that this adventure is over saddens me greatly. I can never thank my family enough for this year, they have given me this amazing experience. If you are reading this and have ever thought about hosting or going on exchange, do it. To answer your questions, yes we are having Crêpes for dinner, yes I will miss the bread, no none of us will sleep in the camp in Paris, yes Zoey and I are going to sneak out for one last walk around town and one last cigarette. All in all this has been the best year of my life. 

Why Going On Exchange Is The Best Thing I've Ever Done

My time here is rapidly closing, just a few months left and I have to say that this experience has been the best thing I've ever done with my life.  It has given my a control over my life that I have never experienced before.  I look in the mirror and I see what I have dreamed of seeing for ages, someone proud and fierce, someone who will not let anything stop her. I've learned so much about myself, about the world and about life. I've learned just how fast time goes and having learned that you realize that you can't just lay down and let life happen, you have to have fun, live, take chance.  Granted you have to do all that responsibly, don't just go crazy, you have to be alive to experience life. I have always been a rather stubborn person but these ten months more than anything else have made me realize the importance of chasing my dreams and never giving up. I refuse to live a life of "9-5 everyday the same thing" I want to live a life that matters, that has a purpose, that makes a difference, even if it's just to one person. I've learned the value of people, love is a universal concept that know no boundaries.  Family is important yes, but the relationships that you choose are the ones that really reflect and make an impact. I have friends from all over the world, I've seen amazing sights and heard wonderful stories. I spent a week and Paris and it was amazing, I got to just explore where and what I wanted. I made new friends and links that I will always have. I'm so far away from everything I have ever known and yet I have learned more here than anywhere. Going on exchange doesn't make me better than anyone else, though I hope that my experiences have made me a better person, I know they have changed me. In the end it is what I take away from this that makes it worth it. I am just a normal human that has experienced extraordinary things, I have been so lucky and fortunate to have had this chance.  To sum it all up, take control, live for yourself and what you believe in.  I don't care who you are or where you're from or what you follow, never follow blindly.  Ask questions that need asked, make choices that need to be made, never take anything for granted.  Life is short, time passes quickly, there are no second chances. No matter how lost or far away, you are the one with the power to make a difference. Regrets are not worth having and spilt milk isn't worth crying over. You have this one life and this one chance, go out and take it, Never look back, never stop running and never let them take you down.

98

Ok so I know I haven't posted in a while, I haven't had a ton of time.  Life has been pretty busy, the language gets easier and easier, I have almost complete comprehension and can speak with something you could call ease.  School is rather boring , seeing as I am in STMG which is one of the easy classes so no one really talks to us.  I do have French friends, they just don't happen to be in my class.  Anyway.....The hardest part of learning a language is training yourself to think in that language, dreams become garbled mess and talking out loud to yourself is kinda weird.  I have gotten the opportunity to go to Paris for a week, I am very excited to pursue my film photography. Today I've been working on Shoofly Pie, traditional Amish recipe. Now lets get down to it.  I have less than 100 days before I return to the good old USA.  Wow.  It's funny looking back on it now, how sad I was at first, while normal with an exchange student, was completely stupid.  I want to come back and at the same time  I don't want to come back.  I know I've changed and I'm sure my network at home has too.  It's going to be a bit weird those first few weeks back.  Returning from a life that you've left for so long is bound to be difficult too.  The main thing is fear of losing your learned language but in todays world you at least can always access media in that language and maybe call back to your host family every now and then.  My host brother says he's going to sneak in my suitcase when I leave, and then he always asks if we can Skype.  It's going to be really hard to leave this family here. I haven't ever had a big family like this, it's been really great having cousins and great grandparents etc. I will not miss going to school until 6:00pm but everything else is going to be super hard to say goodbye to. Though I don't have to think about it for another 98 days, it sits in the back of my mind constantly. Going on an exchange has been the best, hardest, most fun and craziest experiences of my life and I am so grateful that I have had this opportunity.

Lots of Stuff

Okay so I'm going to talk about a bunch of stuff here.
Let's start off with my birthday today :) Yay 17!!! It's kinda weird not being at home.  You celebrate with your new friends and family here but as much as you love them its still different.  Suddenly you remember Matt dancing like a manic whilst everyone sang happy birthday at your sweet 16th and them forcing you to wear that stupid crown that you actually kinda liked. Also I really just want a normal store bought cake for the supermarket.  Everything is so fancy here! You really miss your best friends and when you get her package in the mail you cry and laugh and you wake up the next morning to her having counted down the time until your birthday even though it was only 6 o'clock for her.  Its a beautiful thing being in another country but sometimes you wish you could teleport for a little and celebrate with everyone.

Next lets talk about language.  So you've been here for half of 10 months already and your sitting in the movie theatre with your family (french cinemas are awesome by the way, the tilt the opposite way so you're almost lying back watching) and there's that tiny part of your brain that is screaming "translate, translate" but then there's that bigger part thats saying, "you don't need to translate, you understand it." and that is the most beautiful thing ever.  You catch yourself thinking while you're talking "Wow, I'm speaking a different language."  It's totally cool and amazing.  Sure there's stuff you still don't understand and sometimes you just end up feeling like a wrinkled bill trying to enter a vending machine, but for the most part you can function again and its beautiful.

WAR. Okay you've been away for a while now and your hoarded and carefully rationed supplies are starting to run out. Some stuff you can find easy replacements for lotions, shampoo, etc but for other stuff, well lets just say my father begrudgingly sent over more deodorant and hand sanitizer. Peanut butter and chocolate from home become worth their weight in gold and you have a list of places you want to eat at when you go home.

Half Way.  So you've made it this far.  HOLY CRAP 5 MONTHS ALREADY WHERE DID THE TIME GO. Cue freakout/existential crisis. You find yourself thinking "I'm almost done, yay", and "I'm almost done, shit" In the same breath and then resolve to ignore how much time has passed and just live until you get closer to the end.

Happy Valentines Day everyone, Spread the love <3

Je Suis Charlie?

Okay I've got a unique view here.  As an American the attacks in Paris last week do not shock me.  I am from a country where school children are slaughtered by their classmates or members of their communities. An act like this is horrid yes but it is by no means close to what has happened in the US. I do not in any way condone the attacks and hostage situations but I do find some of the things that Charlie Hebdo published to be rather unwise. Yes freedom of speech, no to being blatantly bigotist to not only Islam but to other religions as well, that is common human decency.  Now again the Islamic community will suffer because of a few extremists.  The racism that will stem from this will no doubt be great, and to anyone who is unaware Muslims view jihadists the same way Christians would look at Hitler, or Westboro Baptists.  I am sincerely sorry for the deaths of all of the slain, especially those not even involved with the Journal.  It is a tragedy and no one has any right to attack and kill another human being, no matter what.  I send my thoughts and prayers to the families who are grieving for the loss of brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, husbands and wives. This is something that should have never happened, but I beg you to look further than the media coverage.  This attack was carried out by men with a twisted view of a peaceful religion, to people who wrote a satirical magazine, and then it was carried out into the public with hostage situations and police officer deaths.  The people with Charlie Hebdo were completely within their rights to publish whatever they want, France is a country of liberty, no matter how distasteful the content might have been, it was nothing to kill over. I find overreactions to be proof that a person is not confident in what they are involved in whether it be a relationship, job or religion.  To conclude this was a horrible event that shouldn't have happened, mais je ne suis pas charlie, je suis France, je suis les familles des morts, je suis l'amour conquiert la haine, je suis la police, je suis les écrivains, et je suis l'épicerie clients. je suis vie.

Peace and love
La paix et l'amour
السلام والمحبة
שלום, אהבה
Barış ve sevgi
Paz y amor

New Year

Honestly this year was filled with both good and bad, on one hand I'm glad to see it go but on the other I am not.  Lets start with the good things.  Turned 16 and got my drivers license, put on 2 really good shows with my friends/family in the theatre department, went to my first Warped Tour with one of my best friends Cameron and to this day that remains one of the best experiences of my life, there's just something about being in the crowd and seeing those bands in real life and feeling the energy (Already have tickets for 2015), Started working in the maze at Cherry Crest Adventure Farm, got to spend a week in England with some really great people, and I received a full ride scholarship to study here in France, something I wouldn't have been able to do without a scholarship so thanks again to Jenny and Mike.  I have a wonderful host family and friends here and all is going well.  The bad, because as The Doctor says  "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." This year I lost a very good friend, Dan, he will forever remain in my heart and the hearts of everyone who knew him.  He was the kind of person who literally had no hate in him, he just had love for anyone and everyone, he was the kind of person who I want to be.  After years of discord my parents finally split up which was hard for me to deal with, I also lost my Grandfather while I've been here in France which sucks majorly. So yeah, the good, the bad and the ugly, Even though I have left many people at home I feel that this year apart will only reveal who my true friends are, I miss them yes, but I know that I am going to be home in just 6 short months.  Happy New Year to everyone, peace and goodwill to all.

Money

There comes a time, after 4 months that you're putting away your socks in the drawer and under that pair of leggings you never wear you find your home countries money and suddenly you feel really weird.  You're standing there with these bills in your hand.  These pieces of paper that quite literally ruled your life and you realized that then and there they are absolutely worthless.  They have no purpose, they have no fonction to anyone else but you and even to you they have no value.  It throws life into perspective, a mini existential crisis arises and you have a funny feeling for the rest of the day.  We really are just little meat creatures on a ball of dirt and rock hurtling through the galaxy and our lives are controlled by little strips of paper that aren't even globally recognized.  Think that one over everyone.