*Insert Expletive Here*

Tonight my parents asked to Skype with me together, odd seeing as they're separated but the said they wanted to meet my host parents. Okay cool. Right after I introduce my 11 year old brother they drop the worse bomb that I was fearing. My grandfather is dead. Having never met my fathers dad Poppy, as I fondly call him, was ultimately the best grandfather anyone could have. He didn't say much but he was very smart and a brilliant mechanic. I loved going fishing wit him and as I sit here writing this the fact that I will never do that again hit my line a ton of bricks. I should have stayed home. I knew he didn't have long but I thought maybe he could make it until I came home. 283 days to short. He had stage 4 esophageal cancer but they said it was possible he could live with it. Mon said everyone was there with him when he passed and the fact that I wast kills me. I can't go to the funeral which hurts more. He told my mom that he wanted me to stay here and keep studying and I'm so thankful that I went to see him one more time before I left. You think that you know the pain of losing a loved one. Uncle, friend, but then you lose one when you are literally half way across the world and you can't do anything and it brings a whole new level of pain. 

Vendredi Finally

10 hour school days suck majorly.  Whoever thought of them should be guillotined (french revolution pun).  After this week I'm so glad that my host family said that Saturday is sleep in day!  I'm still super homesick but I'm hoping that will go away.  My friends back home have been super supportive (if you're one of those people reading this I love you)  I'm in Spanish and Italian now, yay. But I am in a super cool art class that I'm really looking forward to.  Well its been a long week and I need to sleep.

Maybe....

Today was good. Wednesday we only have two hours of class. Sadly one of the is an upper level Spanish in which I have no idea what is going on. Thankfully I have 2 other AFSers in my classes and one of them is from Mexico. There's 7 of us total and 5 of us who all speak English all hangout together. Two of them speak both English and French very well. They are godsends. There is also another girl a year ahead who went to Russia and speaks near perfect English she's pretty awesome too.  My liaison is great and my family is as well. I really miss my dad. I think it's because it's just me and him and I kinda feel like I've abandoned him, also because I'm totally a daddy's girl. I need American lined paper now. Here it's all grided and busy and I hate it. They eat a lot here but I never can finish anything. The clock rings at the hour and then 5 past. Tradition. I'm hoping this becomes easier as can understand the language. The kids at school are very quiet. They say it's because they don't speak English but I'm not so sure. Spanish first thing tomorrow. We go to school from 8-6 with 1-2 hour breaks. It's not ideal but it's ok. I miss really stupid things. My bed, my bathroom, American food, ice, being able to drive places. I would kill for a bacon cheeseburger and old bay fries from this little place called Rosie's near my house in America. I have fully come to the conclusions that America needs to stress language learning, and get on the metric system.  The representation of American music is all crappy pop. No rock, folk, not even country. It's kinda sad. Oh well. Au revoir. 

Ugh

Well I attempted my first day of school and left halfway through class. I'm tired and th mere thought of school makes me sick at my stomach let alone being there I felt like I was going to through up. I'm not hungry and I can't understand anything. Everyone says it's normal but I'm becoming to dread 10 months of this. My host family is great but I just can't handle school. I want to go home but then I'll be that girl who couldn't take being abroad. I feel like this exchange is become pointless. What am I doing but distance myself from my loved once and stressing myself out so much I get sick. Is it really worth that? 

What I've Learned So Far Is....

1: The food is amazing
2: French people speak quietly
3: Italians are very pretty and loud
4: When you drive on the highway people rarely use their blinkers
5:  I know less French than I though
6: I miss my dad.
7: I miss my bed
8: Carrying 80+ pounds of luggage is horrid
9: I'm exhausted.

Paris

Well me made it Paris with all of the other exchange students from everywhere. I'm 6 hours ahead of my home town. I've made a lot of friend who are really awesome and I'm sorta sad to leave them tomorrow. Bus at 7:50 and some sort of really long. TGV ride. We toured the Tour Eiffel today and saw some other sights. Paris is set up beautifully and the whiteness of the buildings stones give it a brightness.