New Year

Honestly this year was filled with both good and bad, on one hand I'm glad to see it go but on the other I am not.  Lets start with the good things.  Turned 16 and got my drivers license, put on 2 really good shows with my friends/family in the theatre department, went to my first Warped Tour with one of my best friends Cameron and to this day that remains one of the best experiences of my life, there's just something about being in the crowd and seeing those bands in real life and feeling the energy (Already have tickets for 2015), Started working in the maze at Cherry Crest Adventure Farm, got to spend a week in England with some really great people, and I received a full ride scholarship to study here in France, something I wouldn't have been able to do without a scholarship so thanks again to Jenny and Mike.  I have a wonderful host family and friends here and all is going well.  The bad, because as The Doctor says  "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." This year I lost a very good friend, Dan, he will forever remain in my heart and the hearts of everyone who knew him.  He was the kind of person who literally had no hate in him, he just had love for anyone and everyone, he was the kind of person who I want to be.  After years of discord my parents finally split up which was hard for me to deal with, I also lost my Grandfather while I've been here in France which sucks majorly. So yeah, the good, the bad and the ugly, Even though I have left many people at home I feel that this year apart will only reveal who my true friends are, I miss them yes, but I know that I am going to be home in just 6 short months.  Happy New Year to everyone, peace and goodwill to all.

Money

There comes a time, after 4 months that you're putting away your socks in the drawer and under that pair of leggings you never wear you find your home countries money and suddenly you feel really weird.  You're standing there with these bills in your hand.  These pieces of paper that quite literally ruled your life and you realized that then and there they are absolutely worthless.  They have no purpose, they have no fonction to anyone else but you and even to you they have no value.  It throws life into perspective, a mini existential crisis arises and you have a funny feeling for the rest of the day.  We really are just little meat creatures on a ball of dirt and rock hurtling through the galaxy and our lives are controlled by little strips of paper that aren't even globally recognized.  Think that one over everyone.

Noël

Facing Christmas in your host country brings a lot of mixed emotions. Especially when you come from one of the most commercialized countries ever to a small town half way across the world. As much as you thank God you don't here Christmas music everywhere, you miss that Christmas spirit you've grown up knowing. Here the holidays are fairly quite, sure some decorations and a small Christmas tree but you just lack that certain Christmas feeling, there seems to be no hype at all. I've found myself longing for a live Christmas tree and some of Grammys Christmas cookies. It's not that it's worse here at all, the U.S. Takes Christmas way overboard but when you grow up with that and it's all you know a change to a bit more simplicity can be rough. Now to address the obvious elephant in the room. You miss your family like crazy, what should be the happiest time of the year turn into a whirlpool of emotions that leave you crying one minute and laughing the next. Though you're glad you can't go home for Christmas because it would be to hard to have to leave again. 

Breathing

I'm going to tell you something you might not realize. Your native language is as much a part of you as the voice you use to speak it.  It comes naturally to you.  When you talk to someone you don't have to think about how to say this, and how to use that, you just think about what to say which of course is relative to the conversation.  Being thrown into another language is like hitting a wall.  After 3 months your comprehension is getting to be "good" you can take tests and receive good grades, you understand classes (for the most part) but speaking, well thats a whole nother ball field.  You sound, an I quote my friend and former exchange student Kara, "Like a dying pikachu."  Laugh if you will but its true.  Especially coming into a language with masculine/feminine and a ton of rules.  Basically you know what you want to say but you don't remember until half an hour later and then you pretty much just face palm.  But you realize that hey you actually understood that and thats a weird and amazing thing. You know enough to talk to your friends and suddenly you're speaking english, not because you need to but only when you don't want others to know what you're saying.  Its a weird, difficult, and magical thing.